The week is about to end, yet again. Sipping chai and lying down in my shorts is such a comforting thing after this long week. This week actually went pretty quickly. I was kind of Multi-tasking and shuffling between a few things. On the work front, this week again was more of understanding thing and aligning a set mechanism for weeks to follow. It is a conscious effort not to make this blog a work directory but my own learning and experiences of every week. This week rather than learning something new, I am reminded of a very valuable lesson.
So, the cleaner in the guest house where I am putting up came to me in the morning around 8:30 and asked me that he needs some help, more than help he asked me for guidance. I was confused! The first prompt thought was that he would want some help from an officer and has come to talk to me casually about it and see if I can join the dots. I held back my imagination and asked him to continue. He told me about this girl who is married with 2 kids, her name and livelihood. Abruptly, the next thing he asked me was to meet the girl and not ask her many questions. I was confused and worried as to why he is directing me outrightly not to ask her anything more than what she herself tells me. I just had to say yes, the Sherlock in me wouldn't let me sleep otherwise! In the evening I see this young girl wearing a green suit and hair tied neatly in a bun waiting for me near the entrance of the guest house. I brought her to my room and asked her younger brother to wait meanwhile. Before I could say or ask anything she took the water bottle herself and finished 2 glasses of water. I was scared and confused, with no idea as to what to ask since I was directed not to ask anything myself. Meena didi told me not to tell anyone and clearly said that she needs help. I asked her to tell me what was bothering her. Without dwelling into absolute details, she told me that she was married to this man when she was 18 who had a government job and worked with the Indian Railways. He was into drugs from the beginning and started abusing and torturing her within a few months. There was no one to her rescue, not even her mother-in-law who instead said this is her fate. She came back to her parents home twice but her ailing father convinced her to go back so that her younger sisters could get married. Further, her husband has been declared an 'absentee' from the job and now finally she is back to her her parents home. Her father is no more and her mother is managing the home expenses from her husband's mere pension. Hearing this, I asked her what she wanted me to do? She told that her children (2 DAUGHTERS) are about to be expelled from school since the school is asking for original Date of Birth Certificate, Aadhar Card and she left all these documents in her earlier house while she escaped from there at midnight. She wanted me to talk to the school authorities and her advocate as well who is fighting her case now for alimony. Weird thing is, she hasn't applied for a divorce! I told her I will try my best to make sure at least her children are not suspended from school. Meena didi didn't even know who I was - what job, position, department, nothing. She only knew that I am soft spoken (as told my the cleaning person), educated and a girl.
Lesson - For just being humble and soft spoken (as to what she had heard), she told me everything. But the best thing she told me as an answer to my question of not being worried that she has 2 daughters is something which gave me thrills. " Beti ho ya Beta, mazboot hona chaiye, main ladki hun aur ladd rahi hun, mera pati ne aadmi hoke kya kar liya? Bas itna hai ki meri ladkiyan padh likh jayein, taki mard se fir paise ke liye joote chappal na khane pade"(A person should be strong, irrespective of the gender. I am a girl and still fighting, what is my husband doing superior for just being a man? I only want that my girls get educated so that they dont have to be dependent and face domestic violence, ever).
Let's take a moment to appreciate the best gift which our parents have given us, in the list of umpteen others - they EDUCATED US. I can't even think of myself not being able to understand what is written in the paper and passing it on to someone who can read it for me. Educating, as seen by many is not merely a means a livelihood but above it a weapon of protecting yourself and being confident that no-one can fool you. The feeling of being independent is a bi-product which is way too precious.
Thank you Meena didi for reminding me this important lesson that Humility can connect you with people beyond boundaries.
So, the cleaner in the guest house where I am putting up came to me in the morning around 8:30 and asked me that he needs some help, more than help he asked me for guidance. I was confused! The first prompt thought was that he would want some help from an officer and has come to talk to me casually about it and see if I can join the dots. I held back my imagination and asked him to continue. He told me about this girl who is married with 2 kids, her name and livelihood. Abruptly, the next thing he asked me was to meet the girl and not ask her many questions. I was confused and worried as to why he is directing me outrightly not to ask her anything more than what she herself tells me. I just had to say yes, the Sherlock in me wouldn't let me sleep otherwise! In the evening I see this young girl wearing a green suit and hair tied neatly in a bun waiting for me near the entrance of the guest house. I brought her to my room and asked her younger brother to wait meanwhile. Before I could say or ask anything she took the water bottle herself and finished 2 glasses of water. I was scared and confused, with no idea as to what to ask since I was directed not to ask anything myself. Meena didi told me not to tell anyone and clearly said that she needs help. I asked her to tell me what was bothering her. Without dwelling into absolute details, she told me that she was married to this man when she was 18 who had a government job and worked with the Indian Railways. He was into drugs from the beginning and started abusing and torturing her within a few months. There was no one to her rescue, not even her mother-in-law who instead said this is her fate. She came back to her parents home twice but her ailing father convinced her to go back so that her younger sisters could get married. Further, her husband has been declared an 'absentee' from the job and now finally she is back to her her parents home. Her father is no more and her mother is managing the home expenses from her husband's mere pension. Hearing this, I asked her what she wanted me to do? She told that her children (2 DAUGHTERS) are about to be expelled from school since the school is asking for original Date of Birth Certificate, Aadhar Card and she left all these documents in her earlier house while she escaped from there at midnight. She wanted me to talk to the school authorities and her advocate as well who is fighting her case now for alimony. Weird thing is, she hasn't applied for a divorce! I told her I will try my best to make sure at least her children are not suspended from school. Meena didi didn't even know who I was - what job, position, department, nothing. She only knew that I am soft spoken (as told my the cleaning person), educated and a girl.
Lesson - For just being humble and soft spoken (as to what she had heard), she told me everything. But the best thing she told me as an answer to my question of not being worried that she has 2 daughters is something which gave me thrills. " Beti ho ya Beta, mazboot hona chaiye, main ladki hun aur ladd rahi hun, mera pati ne aadmi hoke kya kar liya? Bas itna hai ki meri ladkiyan padh likh jayein, taki mard se fir paise ke liye joote chappal na khane pade"(A person should be strong, irrespective of the gender. I am a girl and still fighting, what is my husband doing superior for just being a man? I only want that my girls get educated so that they dont have to be dependent and face domestic violence, ever).
Let's take a moment to appreciate the best gift which our parents have given us, in the list of umpteen others - they EDUCATED US. I can't even think of myself not being able to understand what is written in the paper and passing it on to someone who can read it for me. Educating, as seen by many is not merely a means a livelihood but above it a weapon of protecting yourself and being confident that no-one can fool you. The feeling of being independent is a bi-product which is way too precious.
Thank you Meena didi for reminding me this important lesson that Humility can connect you with people beyond boundaries.
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