This is my third month of stay in Kurukshetra and finally, I have started recognizing the roads, shops, markets and people! Not to forget, I have always been extremely bad with directions and mapping of new places in my head. With familiarity, also comes prejudices and opinions. A very strange thing happened today, which made me question a lot of things and ponder about my own belief system.
Anu is a 19-year-old young, bubbly and sweet girl. She is the daughter of my Driver Uncle here, the way I address him fondly. Anu is pursuing her MSc. in Mathematics from Kurukshetra University. She has an elder brother Vishal who is apparently preparing for IELTS for the past two years but hasn't been able to secure the required band as of now. That was a brief background. Now, coming back to today's incident; I often visit their home in the evening for brunch or sometimes on Saturday's for home - made delicious food. Today was Vishal's birthday! I planned to go there with sweets and spend some time with the family. According to my plan I bought the cake and asked Uncle to take me home.
On reaching, I see that there are 10 odd people in the 2 room rented house, mostly of Vishal's age group (21-23). I sit quietly and greet Aunty who is a very simple lady who all her life has lived in the village until 4 years back when they family shifted to the city. So, the crowd picks up the volume and the celebrations start. I walk in the other room and see Anu sitting quietly and struggling to study. I asked her if she is okay and offered her the sweets I bought. She tells me that she doesn't like Vishal's friends and claims they are not nice people.
"Umm. Did something happen? Do you know them? Did they say you something?" I ask politely.
"No, I just know. I don't know them personally but I don't like them at all" she stresses.
I am little confused and hesitant to inquire further. "You shouldn't judge someone if you don't know them. This is bad Anu!" I try to make my point, doing my best not to sound rude.
"We all judge people. We all judge situations. We judge our emotions, conditions, and circumstances. There are certain days when I know I am not happy because I have judged my mood. Then, on days I am angry foreseeing what's going to happen. I am not ashamed of the fact that I judge. It is important to judge. And also, you are saying you have never judged anyone?" she questions.
"Well, I have. I don't deny that, but then I try not to. To whatever extent I can. It's not good to be judgemental" I explain.
"I agree. Universal judgemental is bad. It is wrong, Gita also says that! But situational judgement is what makes us human. If I conquer this whole notion of not being judgemental, then I am God. Let's keep it simple - if you don't like something, you don't like. Simple! Why mix it with so much of logic and explanation. I think these days, everyone wants to attach a good explanation with everything they say" she chuckles.
"And why would people do that?" I ask promptly.
"Because, no body wants to sound judgemental. That is not in - fashion these days." she finished.
I had chole and poori for dinner with not to forget a glass of lassi and gulab jamun. While coming back to the guest house, I asked Driver Bhaiya to stop at this one shop from where I buy a packet of milk every day and then take that one particular road for reaching back. Maybe Anu is right, I am also judgemental even about the little things as to the fixed shop where I buy the milk from or even the route I take.
Maybe Anu is right. Being Judgement is not fashionable anymore or maybe we are too scared to say it aloud.
